Monday, March 17, 2008


It's old news by now, but this article in Saturday's Globe got me so riled up. I've just one thing to say to Liesl Trimnell and her South End mommy-brigade cohorts:

We waitstaff MIND when you leave Cheerios under the table. We DO MIND, no matter how polite we may be, no matter how plastered on our happy faces are. It's annoying. It's messy. It's presumptuous. We just can't SAY anything about it because we're in the service industry and, well, that would be rude.

Also, I empathize with you. I want to have babies some day and I don't want to move to the suburbs. And I believe in karma. I believe that every time I am a bitch to a struggling, frazzled mother, the chances that I will wind up with a gaggle of colicky demon babies with ADHD and psychological problems increase. So I will always be nice to you. But please, PLEASE show some humility when your child decimates a dining room.

Thank you, The Management.


Me said...

That, my darling, was brilliant. Loved it! :)

Amie said...

amen!! that article was hidious! I especially love the mom that left her baby in the car while she unloaded groceries and was pissed that she got a ticket. I would have called DSS.

Anonymous said...

Haha, you are doomed to have the demon children now. Yep! I bring my kids out to eat several times a month, and yes they do make a mess. That's what kids do. The do it at home, at school, and at restaurants. I'm happy enough to be able to get out of a restaurant without the kids smashing plates on the floor (yep, they have done that). But, I hope my saving grace is that I'm a big tipper.

Kitty said...

I think you've got the right attitude, Peter! A little humility and -- a little extra cash -- go such a long way! And with all this upscale dining experience, your children will have amazing palates when they grow up, something that I always find impressive.

Anonymous said...

Yeah.. I'm with Peter. Sometimes you just have to dash before your kids really start to piss off other diners and we have no way to efficiently clean up a floor. But our general "kid tip" is around 20-25%

Smile apologetically and tip well. That's about all you can do.

Anonymous said...

Peter, just having the money doesn't make taking the kids to a restaurant any more appropriate. I don't know the ages of your kids, so I won't speak to your experiences; however, I can speak of mine. It's inconsiderate for anyone of any economic means to seat young children in an adult restaurant. If the kids don't know enough to be quiet, they're too young. If you need to hush them, they're too young. If they need crayons, toys, or any else to distract then from the boredom of an adult dinner, they're too young.

Tipping the staff a couple extra dollars doesn't make up for the time they could have spent offering service to other customers. Nor does that extra couple of dollars compensate those who were courteous enough to find someone else to care for their children that night.

If you have the extra money, hire a babysitter. Comments like these support the theory that money can't buy class.

Jesus Palimino, I have a headache!

Margaret, A 25% tip in no way makes up for taking care of your children. Let's say two adults and two kids dine out. The adults each have a $50 dinner. $100 tab = a $25 tip for that server to clean up after your kids. If 4 adults each order $50 dinners, the 20% tip equals $40.

2 adults + 2 children = $25 tip
4 adults = $40 tip

So, Margaret, you screwed the server by causing more work, but tipping less. A more appropriate tip for the server to clean up after your kids would be 50%; however, that doesn't cover the cost of all the dinners your kids ruined for those who left their kids at home.

God bless you, Margaret and Peter. You two are inconsiderate idiots.