Saturday, December 27, 2008

Another year

Another blonde year is slipping away, and it has me feeling oh-so pensive.

The fact is, 2008 has been nothing like I'd expected. The Undercover Blonde book proposal was shipped out the door in January/early February and a few short months later, a LUPEC Boston book proposal was also in the works. Both were ultimately rejected by the most likely buyer.

I kept my chin up as the book publishing industry tailspinned (tailspun?) into crisis. Then capitalism tailspinned into crisis. Now it's a Depression. Or almost. Whatever it is, the economy is bad. A few weeks ago my agent dropped my book projects, a sensible move as nothing was really happening with either. But it certainly didn't seem to bode well for my humble little book projects. Or my confidence.

It's not the lack of interest in the book version of Undercover Blonde that has me down -- I work in publishing and understand entirely how that game works. What is more troubling is the fact that I'm not really sure what to do with this project anymore. I'm so goal-oriented, so planning-obsessed, you change my agenda or my end goal and I'm like a ship at sail without a captain. It's left me feeling ambivalent and worried and kind of depressed. All I want to do is listen to Studs Terkel interviews with Great Depression-survivors and contemplate exactly how little money I'll be able to live on when everything grinds to an economic halt. All fantastic excuses to not be ambitious.

Then the other day it hit me: perhaps my lack of direction stems from the fact that this project is kinda done? Undercover Blonde was born out of an identity crisis rooted in a bad break-up with my then-fiancee and deep disatisfaction with my job. Both the job and the Ex are now long gone (though vestiges of both occasionally surface, which is always fun) and I no longer feel quite as confused about who I am as I did back then. I also feel very well situated and satisfied with my current hair color, and confidently steeped in my chosen blondeness.

Is it possible that I've attained the goals I set out to achieve when I started this blog? And if that's the case, whatever shall I continue to write about?

I guess we'll always have my waitress rants. As the economy continues to suck, I am as dependent upon my waitress pennies as ever.

I suppose we'll always have Toro.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


One thing I’ve noticed is that when women want to really “shred” you, they attack your being blonde first.

I recently got a nasty-gram from a woman who got in a dither about one of my columns. She, along with a diatribe about my lack of intelligence and education, had to throw in something about my “bleached blonde tresses” in the first three sentences.

“Bleach blonde” apparently is supposed to be an insult among women. As if coloring one’s hair blonde is somehow shameful. I’ve never heard anyone accuse a brunette of being a “brunette-out-of-the-bottle bitch” or a “fake red-head”. Nope. The slam is always anti-blonde.

I’ve also had my share of men asking if I’m really blonde. And we all know what THAT’S about. (Oh please…I wish men would grow up!)

I went brunette once. Once. It didn’t look good or natural. And I learned that my eyebrows are actually MUCH lighter than they appeared against my blondeness.

I’m not a “bleached blonde.” I like to think of it as “enhanced” blonde. I’m naturally blonde, although I’m darker than I used to be.

Honestly, Kitty, I’m tired of being portrayed as stupid (I’m not. I have a M.A. in Journalism and I teach college part-time). I’m tired of being portrayed as blonde-therefore-slut. And I’m damned tired of blonde jokes.

I think all the vitriol is lobbed at us because, secretly, being blonde equates with some kind of mystery and power that those with low self-esteem just can’t handle.

Phantom Blonde is a writer based in Central Texas. Check out her ruminations on life and blondeness at

Saturday, December 13, 2008

in these times of economic downturn, will you sacrifice your looks?

Dubyabejay from A View of The C dropped me a note about this recent post on blondes going darker in this time of economic downturn.

I had a similar conversation with my stylist while in the chair last week. He agreed with the stylist they quote in this piece, who says that people who were "just highlighting for fun" cut color out of their haircare budget altogether. But according to Jason, the blondes still come in and they always will. In his words,

"You're here, aren't you? Are you going to stop coming? Please."

He's right.

Vanity: 1
Kitty: 0

Monday, December 08, 2008

Don't let this happen to you!

Wendy is a colleague of my own dear stylist Jason at Escape. This is her dramatic re-enactment of what could potentially happen to you if you forget to book in advance this holiday season.

Don't let this happen to you!