Thursday, May 08, 2008

are you messing with me, people?

I'm beginning to think that people who happen to have read this thing are coming in to Toro and fucking with me, perhaps in an effort to see if I'll actually end up writing about them. This may sound paranoid and nutty, but I have had some weird interactions lately that have led me to this conclusion. Examples:

#1: Last week a perfect stranger left me a 100% tip for no reason. I was slammed when they sat down so there wasn't much time for sweet talk, though I was courteous, cordial, and attentive as time would allow. I was also, I'll have you know, in a REALLY bad mood that afternoon, so likely overcompensating for my internal demons with a big fake publicist/waitress I'm-pretending-that-I-love-you-but-I-wish-you'd-all-go-home-and-leave me-alone grin.

When I offered dessert menus to my guests, I must have spoken exuberantly because the male guest at the table responded in what I could only interpret as a mocking parody of my tone: "We sure would like to see dessert menus!" he said.

I tilted my head and stared at him for a second. Then I decided he was dead to me. You're done, I thought, I'm not even trying to cover up my mood now, it's all business with you from now on, buddy. I pretty much ignored the table from that point forward. After they left, I picked up their check presenter, bracing for 15%: a $68.25 tip hovered in the line below the subtotal; in the line below that, the total, a whopping $136.50.

Needless to say I was completely stunned. Had they still been in the restaurant, I would have asked them what the hell was going on-- but they were long gone.

So I'm asking you, readers: Coincidence? Or is one of you testing me. If you are, you win Mr. 100% Tip Guy. Not sure what corner of heaven you fell out of, but thanks for stopping by my section.

#2: The Sociopath from Sunday. The note he left of my check presenter was SO WEIRD, right?

#3: The girl at Table 20 last night -- my first table of the night -- who left a note on her charge slip reading: Nice blog, from the Boss. It was very cool to get your note, reader, but what/who is The Boss? Were you referring to my boss? If so, which one? Ken Oringer? Dalyn Miller? The GM, Alyssa? The Cheese Man? God? Girl, you really got me with this one. Thanks for your kind words about my blog in any case, I'm thrilled, and thank you for stopping by and being a sweet and low maintenance table on an otherwise crazy night.

Other readers, what do YOU think?


Anonymous said...

You have definitely been had.
But are you really surprised??

Kitty said...

Of course I'm surprised -- I'm surprised that people even read this thing. And delighted, of course.

Now, can YOU tell me who "The Boss" is?

Anonymous said...

"The Boss" is Bruce Springsteen.