alone

The other day I was chatting with a friend at work who recently realized that he is a serial monogamist. And during the conversation, I realized that I, too, am a serial monogamist.

It didn't start off this way. I dated a string of boys in high school and college but there was usually some space between each relationship. And there was a long-seeming dry spell between my break-up with this guy (now a famous actor) and the guy who later became the Ex.

The Ex and I were together for 5 years and engaged for 3 1/2 of them. Our relationship was so broken when we finally broke up I think I was the only one we knew who was surprised its demise. And I had my very first date with the Mathematician the day after I told the Ex, once and for all, "it's over."

All of this ads up to the simple fact that, for the last decade at least, I've had a significant other. Someone else to worry about, someone else to plan my life around...someone else to worry about me. And when I scale back and think about the question of solitude, owing the fact that I have a twin brother I realize: I've never really been alone.

Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing?