Tuesday, April 01, 2008

welcome to fat week

Welcome to Fat Week, everybody! Fat week happens once a month and begins exactly one week before I get my period. And it blows.

Friends will tell me that I am crazy, not fat, and that this is all in my head. Boyfriends have banged their heads against the wall trying to talk me off the ledge during Fat Week. Strangers likely won't even notice it's Fat Week. The problem is that I notice. My body is kicking off Fat Week right now, with flair and celebratory style. My body is ringing it in with gusto. Huzzah Fat Week!

To some extent, the people who say Fat Week is all in my head are correct. More precisely, it's in my hormone secreting glands. Fat Week is the direct result of changes in hormone levels that happen at predictable times during my cycle. Today, for example, my progesterone levels are at an month-time high, and my estrogen and testosterone levels are also peaking for the second time this month. Estrogen & Testosterone on high? That's usually a good thing, as estrogen & testosterone are the hormones that make me outgoing, confident & feel as though I can take over the world during Thin Week (a.k.a. Week 2 of my cycle). Today Progesterone trumps the E&T card making me calm, collected, and since I am sensitive to it, a little blue.***

Tomorrow, all hell breaks loose and ALL of my hormone levels will plummet as I begin the hellish descent into PMS.

I also call this Fat Week because I literally am fatter this week. Every month I gain & lose at least five pounds over the course of my cycle (since I finally bought a scale in January I've been able to measure this for once and for all). For this duration of this glorious week I get to sport those brand new pounds like a shiny, spanking new pair of shoes. Heavy shoes. Shoes that only weigh five pounds, but feel like they weigh 25.

As you can see, Fat Week isn't just in my head, nor is it exactly real, as in just a week's time, I will lose exactly five pounds in the space of two days. But for now, Vive La Fat Week!

Welcome to my crazy, crazy world...

***All of this info was gleaned from a lovely little book by Gabrielle Lichterman called 28 Days. Pick up a copy & unlock the secrets of your cycle, especially if once a month you think you're going crazy. It's not all in your head & you are NOT alone!


Unknown said...

I thought the exact same thing while looking in the mirror this morning.

Anonymous said...

FYI...that book is out of print :)