BLONDE DISPATCHES: Phantom Blonde

One thing I’ve noticed is that when women want to really “shred” you, they attack your being blonde first.

I recently got a nasty-gram from a woman who got in a dither about one of my columns. She, along with a diatribe about my lack of intelligence and education, had to throw in something about my “bleached blonde tresses” in the first three sentences.

“Bleach blonde” apparently is supposed to be an insult among women. As if coloring one’s hair blonde is somehow shameful. I’ve never heard anyone accuse a brunette of being a “brunette-out-of-the-bottle bitch” or a “fake red-head”. Nope. The slam is always anti-blonde.

I’ve also had my share of men asking if I’m really blonde. And we all know what THAT’S about. (Oh please…I wish men would grow up!)

I went brunette once. Once. It didn’t look good or natural. And I learned that my eyebrows are actually MUCH lighter than they appeared against my blondeness.

I’m not a “bleached blonde.” I like to think of it as “enhanced” blonde. I’m naturally blonde, although I’m darker than I used to be.

Honestly, Kitty, I’m tired of being portrayed as stupid (I’m not. I have a M.A. in Journalism and I teach college part-time). I’m tired of being portrayed as blonde-therefore-slut. And I’m damned tired of blonde jokes.

I think all the vitriol is lobbed at us because, secretly, being blonde equates with some kind of mystery and power that those with low self-esteem just can’t handle.

Phantom Blonde is a writer based in Central Texas. Check out her ruminations on life and blondeness at phantomblonde.blogspot.com.