how Jason keeps me in line

Jason came in to visit me at Toro the other night. This is how our conversation went:

JASON: (Inspecting my color, as he does whenever we see each other) It's holding up nicely! You're about a week and a half out on roots, though, honey.
ME: Ugh, really?
JASON: Yes, I know...but it's like I told you, you're actually going to have to come more as a brunette than you did as a blonde. You can't have light roots and dark locks. That just looks weird.
ME: True. Okay, so I'll come in like 2 weeks maybe?
JASON: Mmm-hmm...see, you're at almost a four now, down from 11-almost-platinum, so we're going to have to do [INSERT SCIENTIFIC SOUNDING STYLIST MUMBO JUMBO] with some [MORE CHEMICALLY SOUNDING TERMS] to bring you to a nice, warm 5 with some [STYLIST TERM]-y overtones. And all of this without using any permanent color.
ME: Cool! So...does all of that mean that next time I come in, we can start going lighter again? Like, kinda back on the road to being blonde?
JASON: (shaking his head like a parent telling me I can't stay up past my bedtime) No.
ME: Oh. Okay. But...
JASON: (now speaking like a FIRM parent telling me I can't stay up past my bedtime) NO. Kitty. Brunette for six months. Remember?
ME: (Sheepish) Yeah...I guess I remember...

Jason always keeps me in line.