It is Tuesday, and it is gorgeous. The temperature rose to almost 80-degrees today, and though the city is now cooling off, the sky retains a lovely, light pink glow. My favorite color.
My life is so busy these days. I realized the other day, to my dismay, that I have turned into a person who has absolutely no concept of how to relax. This is largely owing to the many directions I have decided that my life should take--writer, publicist, waitress, cocktail enthusiast, French student. In addition to all of these jobs and hobbies, I am also a girlfriend, a friend, a daughter, a sister. I am lucky to have so many things enriching my life, but sometimes I feel pulled in every direction by them. It's exciting. but totally exhausting, and makes me feel as though every free second that I have is precious, and must be packed to the gills with productivity. And that is why I can't relax. What them hell am I going to do when I have kids???
Lately I have determined that it is important for me to practice relaxing. I have added "Learn to relax" to my masterlist of goals and aspirations, the mother of all to-do lists. I aim to be methodical and meticulous about it. It's kind of ironic.
My attempts to relax usually start with me asking myself the following question: "What do you want to do today, Kirsten?"
My initial response is usually something like, "Well, I should work on my book," or "I should do a little brainstorming about new freelance articles I can write," or "I should catch up on the latest food writing in the Globe just to see what's going on out there," or something along those lines. I think of things that are both productive and interesting, a pleasurable two-for-one.
But that's not really relaxing, now, is it? However, I recently learned that if I let those thoughts flow through me and try not to pounce on them too quickly with immediate, self motivated action, another voice starts to speak up. This one is uniquely my own and doesn't give a shit about my career goals or my overdue duties. It says things like: "I want to get in bed and read for 3 hours, even though it is the middle of the day on a gorgeous day in May when I should want to be outside," or "I want to go buy some amazing, over-priced produce that I may or may not cook for dinner for myself and the Mathematician later tonight." That voice is the voice I must work to hear.
So, tonight, I had a free hour to kill before meeting up with my friend, Shanna, for a long overdue dinner. When I asked myself, "What do you want to do with this hour, Kirsten?" the little voice answered, "I want to make myself a fabulous classic cocktail." So, I went to the liquor store, bought myself a bottle of Plymouth Gin, and made myself a Pink Lady.
.5 oz Plymouth gin
1 egg white
1 Tbsp grenadine
It is 7:45 on a gorgeous Tuesday evening in May. The light slowly fades outside my window, and the sky is darkening from light pink to deep purple. I am sipping a Pink Lady cocktail in my apartment alone and listening to Getz & Gilberto. The bossanova beats float through the empty rooms of my apartment on a lazy breeze. I am dressed for dinner.
Pink Lady is the name that I chose for myself when I recently joined LUPEC. So I guess that means that tonight, I am drinking myself. Or my namesake. Or whatever. In any case I have decided to drink to myself.